My husband told me about a thread in facebook where someone presented some ideas – and then this tread was taken over by men who were fighting about who was better and more right than the other – and the sense of the discussion was completely lost in the battle of predominancy.
Nothing unusual, you might say. But there is a BUT. The people involved claim to be “highly evolved” in the “integral state of consciousness” and on the “leading edge of our present culture”.
Wow! Do they really believe that about themselves? Don’t they instead behave like humans have behaved for thousands of years? The fight for “being the boss” and dim down the others under MY power? If not physical power, it has become the power of the mind, the power of knowing more – all still used in the very old ways of putting oneself on the pedestal and devaluating others. Far away from the qualities of “Integral” and “Second Tier” where you are able to appreciate everybody for what they are and what they can bring on the table.
MY opinion on the matter is that these people might know “Integral Language” and are very able to use it – but in their personal development they are stuck far below, not having dealt with the uncomplete development in lower levels of development. They are sort of limping because their feet are not fully developed and cannot touch well the ground where they want to stand on.
But this is not really the topic I want to talk about in this post.
I became curious in the existence of competition as an attractor for development, for human evolution all together. When we entered the egocentric stage we discovered who we are – or better who we THOUGHT to be, and we began to compare ourselves to others.
If my 5 year old brother has more toys than myself, 6 years old, I begin to fight to have them and I am only satisfied, when I have got what he had – and when the little brother is defeated. And as soon as he has another toy, I will need to have it myself – and the scene repeats. Until I am the established leader who is in control of everything and the others are subjected to my will and wims. Useless to say, that they don’t like to be inferior to me – and so they wait for the moment when they can throw me from the throne and become king themselves.
This is the pattern in which we are living, it feels like from eternity. It seems to be an unquestioned axiom in our personal lives and in the relationship between tribes and nations. Yes, we want to change that, we want an harmonious world with peace and happiness.
Do we really want THAT? Our behavior doesn’t show any inclination in that direction – at least when I watch the average MALE behavior. The responsibility for open conflict, competition, power games and war is in the hands of MEN. And masculine energy seems to be nurtured by their “natural” attempt to be the best, to be chosen (by their mates or by their boss or whatever, there is no real difference). And for to be chosen they have to show up as the most competent, most adequate, most everything. And they need to outsmart their competitors, they need to WIN.
I guess this biological (?) need of being the best has helped evolution to go on – and it certainly has created much damage, too. But, as Jeff Salzman says: “Evolution is beautiful, but not always pretty”.
What about our claim of “Conscious Evolution” which is in everybody’s mouth nowadays, especially in Integral Circles. Guys, are you CONSCIOUS about your personal and cultural patterns which keep you in this endless loop of wanting to outsmart the others? In this eternal loop of competition and wanting to WIN and take care only for your OWN cause? When will you WAKE UP? – I don’t mean waking up as a transcendental spiritual thing as it is understood by most of you! I mean WAKE UP TO YOURSELF! Begin to understand your patterns and how deeply they are rooted still in ancient patterns of behavior! And begin to TAKE CARE – not only TALK about it, but BE a deeply caring person towards yourself and others and show it in your ACTIONS.
My invitation to YOU MEN:
TALK LESS, DO LESS, CARE MORE
And this is what “Feminine Energy” is. It is NOT – what many of you guys THINK it is. It is not about simply creating a WE-Space or offer some exercises which lead people into their inner space – and you, the leader, are somewhere outside, hiding yourself behind the role (and you MEN still like very much to jump into leadership while we women normally take some more time to step into it.)
I don’t say that we WOMEN don’t enter into competition, among ourselves – and now also with MEN – to find our place in the outside world. But altogether I dare to say, that we are not so ATTACHED to competition as you guys are, and when it is necessary we just pull up our sleeves and do what is needed to do – without rationalizing what might be the best thing to do – and then miss the moment when things needed to be done. There are many examples in private and public life for that. For instance: after the earthquake which has destroyed Aquila in 2009, women self-organized the social life between former neighbors, scattered around in other places, took care for the needs of everyone, while the men in the city council were talking and talking about what would be done – and now, after 5 years, the city is still a ghost town and the women have no support in their private efforts to make things better….
What I ask YOU to do is: Look inside yourself and research the hidden patterns through which you are still operating. It is not about your experience in childhood or whenever. It is about what this experience has created in you in terms of completely unconscious patterns. You actually CANNOT see them, neither by spiritual practice, nor by traditional psychotherapy. It is like the water for the fish: seemingly not existent, because it is the water in which you are swimming.
And when you have done that – and when you begin to act out of a different “water” when you can recognize the hidden first tier traits underlying your actions in the world – then you can begin to claim the label “INTEGRAL” or “SECOND TIER” for yourself. And how can you recognize if you are there? When you can recognize your attempts to dominate and to compete, if you can take a perspective on that and chose to go other ways, new ways, second-tier ways of being in the world.
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net