That’s where the name PARADISO INTEGRALE comes from: a physical space open for research in how to ‘stay together’ in a paradise-like atmosphere while engaging in conscious personal development. Over the past 25 years hundreds and hundreds – or perhaps thousands have come to stay for a day, for a week or two, or even for months. There were volunteers for the farm work, holiday guests, friends visiting and bringing their friends; there were those who participated in my courses or those of others who were holding them here. Short term and long term relationships of different types and levels and depths developed. It was – and is – amazing ‘theatre’ to watch how relationships are formed, how they develop (in both more and less healthy ways) and how they can be enhanced with the consent and efforts of the people concerned. And it was a huge learning campus for myself in how to create relationships with single people or groups and how to develop my own relationship skills. So PARADISO INTEGRALE became a permanent bootcamp for the exploration and enhancement of human relationships inside the developmental framework of Integral Theory and an evolutionary worldview.
WE-TIME AT PARADISO INTEGRALE:
Learning and teaching relationship skills allowed me to break my own traditional neurotic pattern of approaching intimate relationships myself. I finally have fully understood my own contribution to the unhappiness of previous relationships and have decided to put what I have learned in the past few years into direct practice. I attracted Mark into my life and so, really having done it myself, I can teach others how to attract their own ideal partners. Together he and I are exploring the potential of a conscious and authentic relationship – an ‘integral relationship’ – by adopting the tools we have learned and trying them out inside a clear commitment to truth and clarity. This allows us not only to have an unprecedented relationship full of joy and inspiration, but also to inspire and teach others to do the same, to find their ideal partner and construct a completely new relationship – or to better the relationship they have in unexpected ways.
See Mark’s personal story
What we do is surely an integrative approach (“in all four quadrants” and “with many developmental lines” would be the ‘technical’ terms).
We begin with the basics: What do I feel? What do I need? These seem simple questions, but when you begin to really inquire into them you will find out that you often don’t have words for what you feel physically and/or emotionally and there is great confusion about what you need. You might think you need another beer for instance, but what you really need is someone who listens to your story and who supports you in your difficulties. Or you might perceive yourself as sad (this is a frequent feminine mode), but underlying is a different feeling like anger which is suppressed (because for women, still educated to be sweet, anger is not allowed). A male mode would be aggressivity. He might feel aggressive and ready to fight – but more often than not underneath is fear and helplessness compensated by overstepping it and going into the contrary.
This consciousness process leads to the recognition of what my true feelings and needs are as opposed to the surface appearance which is the result of erroneous learning and habit. As you begin to understand your emotional response and from where within you it originates, you will become able to handle them, to not be overwhelmed any more by emotions, let alone need to suppress them altogether.
When you have learned to be with your emotions without repressing them, but also without acting them out inappropriately, you will be able to deeply understand others who are in the same predicament you were but who might not yet have reached the same level of consciousness of self that you have. You automatically will be tolerant towards them without effort, and you will be able to calm conflict and quarrels because you yourself don’t feed into it any more.
With these tools you can create marvelous relationships even if your partner is not yet at the same level that you are. Just by stepping out of your old habits and presenting yourself in a grown up and very skillful way, the old patterns break up and your partner will need to adapt to this situation – in most cases he/she will feel liberated and be willing to happily change themselves!
Additionally we will examine and shift old beliefs about oneself, the world and others – and we will explore new ways of communicating. There are guidelines you can follow, but all this is nothing you can ‘learn by heart’ as you did in school, as we are engaging in a process where ‘the heart learns’ to be open, to allow whatever there is to come up, to fearlessly examine what is and to follow paths which lead to an ever more happy outcome.
PARADISO INTEGRALE is a beautiful and excellently suited place to practice these new ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. That’s why we hold regular retreats for people who want direct guidance and the safety inside a group of peers for developing new ways of being and interacting. see: www.paradiso-integrale.com
Thanks to the wonderful technology of our days we can engage virtually and yet deeply into the work. But nothing is as deep and uplifting as a live encounter with like-minded people on the path of development!