It is not only because women want babies, grow them up and feel to have to take care of the household, the family relationships, the psychological well being of everyone concerned.

There is more lying underneath which makes it really difficult for women to go out into the public and claim their place in important leadership settings.

Yes, there is the male dominance. Men feel great when they graciously “allow” women to take over some role in their society – and they, the men, get all the benefit by women feeling recognized and inspired to do even more for their male fellows, beginning with cleaning up their mess and organizing celebrations, food, whatever. And they, the women,  make sure that the relationships go well, they are doing what they feel inspired to do: scoop everybody into a state of feeling good (the green mantra) – and more often than not they – the women – don’t realise at all, that they are still playing the old role of serving men, only this time not as a duty, but uplifted by gratitude for the fact that they are given some space in the male society.


Male leadership means to go for a well defined goal and do everything to reach it. even highly developed men get their main satisfaction out of their particular achievement. They are identified with what they are doing, they try to find followers and push through. The idea of true collaboration with other men who are up to similar goals doesn’t even pass their defense mechanisms. Yes, we can talk with each other, present our ideas to the other and maybe take over some of theirs, but work together and coordinate our efforts?Well, NO! Who would then have the laurel wreath on the head? “Winner” is the name of only one person, never a group. So male endeavour is to be THE WINNER, over-shining everybody else: the ancient attitude of male conditioning.


Scott RefugeesThe disasters we are meeting in the present moment in our world are the direct consequence of this attitude. Men are developing in many ways, many followers of cutting edge practices like Integral Theory have got it right in their head – but their overall attitude towards themselves and what they are doing is still the same: they allow some suggestions of how things could be better – but they don’t really want to listen closely. If they sense criticism their identity is threatened and they shut down or shoot back. There is still this unconscious conviction that they HAVE TO have everything right, otherwise they are a failure and they are no REAL men. That’s why they can talk about other people’s ideas – but are unable to really understand them (especially when they are presented by women), but they cannot adopt them and need to fight for their own. Nothing but shame would be left of them if the world discovered that they were WRONG.


It needs a huge leap of faith for men to finally wake up and see and feel themselves in this treacherous cage of superiority. We woman could help them in many ways. We are operating in a down-to-earth mode. We are used to constant reality checks and to adapt our way of thinking and behaving to what is needed in the moment. We are not traditionally blinded by the need of recognition as the best/highest, strongest, whatsoever. We get things done by practical doing and not by theorizing. We USE the theories for understanding better what we are doing and what we could do better to reach our north star. We are not married to theories and thoughts and don’t spent time to make reality fit into them, but we change them, if they don’t fit reality. We are more flexible, we never go through the world by hissing the flag of being RIGHT, we are living in constant feedback loops with others, with Nature, with the world around us – and we don’t fear to change the route because we are not identified with the outcome of what we have set our goals for. We are willing to learn from feedback instead of interpreting it as an attack on our value as a person, we are happy to find the best route for the given issue – which can easily be adjusted as soon as we gain a better understanding.


A recent experience made me write down this observation. What I said above is to be understood generally. There are some men who are curious and self reliant enough to be open to feedback and to experiment with changing their ways of approaching the world. And there are some women who lack in all the female/feminine qualities which I named before.

I invite you to have a look around and see what you find. Men who are REALLY open to feedback and willing to learn instead of pushing through their original ways in a disguised manner? Write them on a list and have them nominated to the Nobel Prize for Male development!


Nicci 012 copyBut what is more important: WOMEN, YOU NEED TO GO OUT AND TAKE OVER PUBLIC LIFE AND LEADERSHIP if you want that things change. We cannot wait that men develop the qualities which are needed to “save the world”. We need to offer our innate qualities which are needed badly right now – even the Dalai Lama named it often.


So let you asked, woman: what is holding you back? Why don’t you collaborate with other women – which you have learnt so well in the family context – to go out and take over the power to make bold decisions, connected with your earth-wisdom, your heart and your ability to change route whenever it is needed without losing the orientation?


Let’s connect and empower each other to overcome those inner obstacles, encourage each other to do the right things despite of fear. Let’s be Jeanne d’Arc of the 21 century. But we need to do it together. Jeanne d’Arc, leading male soldiers, will be eliminated when she has served their purposes. We need to stand behind her as women with our unique power to co-create and harmonize relationships.  Tell me, what is hindering you to step up, now!